Chatting with friends, I always find it hilarious when we start catching up on each other’s lives. We tend to lean towards how everything is going with our relationships, and I always hear the same line repeatedly. “Michael be getting on my nerves, he’s lucky I don’t feel like starting over and retraining nobody.” Training is something some women believe they put into a man to make him that perfect partner. But it leaves me to wonder do all black men need training?
I believe in motivating and encouraging your partner to be the absolute best person they can be. Get him motivated to apply for that dream job. Encourage him to go back to school or even step out on faith and start that business opportunity he has been too afraid to act on. I think this kind of sculpting is perfectly fine in any relationship. Honestly, if you two aren’t growing together to be the best possible versions of yourselves then what is the point of it all? You can remain the same person with no growth without a relationship .
What I do have an issue with is creating this perfect black man to your liking. First of all, he doesn’t exist, and any real man worth his salt isn’t gonna let any woman mold him into a whole other man. So what if he eats pork and you don’t? He loves rocking Timberlands, sweats, and Jordans but you want him in a tailored suit everytime you go out. Feeling the need to make this man into something other than what attracted you to him in the first place makes no sense. Sometimes our shallow and superficial lists we have created in our head can ruin an opportunity for great things. Not to mention once we have crafted this ebony Mandingo warrior to our every whim and need, what’s left? There is nothing new to share or experience together, no quirky days or disagreements. You will be left with a bonafide boring relationship and trust me you will get bored once there is nothing new or exciting about him. Don’t forget you may fix this man up, make him shiny and new then he leaves you for someone else to enjoy all the work you put in!
What about the other side of the game? What if a man tried to make you into something you were not? What if he liked women with double d breasts and wanted you to get implants? What if he says your teeth aren’t straight or white enough and he wants you to get veneers? Girl what if he hates your weave or better yet says you need a weave? I guarantee you would kick his ass to the curb so quick! We should keep this in mind with any relationship. No man or woman needs training. Specifically, the black man has so many factors counting against him in the world he needs black women to uplift, motivate, and just have his back. I want my black man to be the best version of himself that he wants to be. What are your thoughts? Does a black man need training?