My hubby served his country proudly for four years before having a medical injury and had to give up his dream. Even though the army life was seven years ago, he is still so much of a soldier today more than ever. It can be a difficult journey for any family transitioning from military life back to civilian life. It can be even harder on a marriage. But if you rely on God’s love and have the support of a strong, prayerful family, and good friends you can make it through. Here are five ways to love a veteran.
When my hubby came back from Iraq, he was a totally different man. He had done some things and seen some things that can change the very core of you. He was jittery, quick-tempered, and anxious often. I found that if I just let him be some time, allow him to have his alone time with his thoughts it was so much better than me nagging him all the time. I was pushing him to open up to me when he wasn’t even ready to deal with his own feelings from war. Being a patient spouse is vital when loving your military spouse.
My hubby wanted to make the military a career, so when he found this dream wasn’t going to happen, he was broken. I had to help him pick up all the little shards of himself. I uplifted him daily. Reminded him that he was the “ it factor” wherever he worked. The job doesn’t define you, you define the job. Soon he started to believe in himself again because I injected him with positivity every day. After many pitfalls and nowhere jobs, my hubby is back to working the dream job he had while in the army in our current civilian life. Aint God Good?
If you don’t believe in anything you will fall for anything. I’m a Christian, and I have prayed up and down for this man. His mother, my mother, and I are prayer warriors and rebuked the devil trying to take hold of this man and my marriage. I expected difficulty when marrying my husband and committing to a military life, but I didn’t quite know how hard it was really going to be. I felt discouraged many times after we moved far away from my hometown. I had no family or friends to rely on. For a while, I wasn’t even working. I had lost myself and was just Mo’s wife. I called my mother & mother in law and told them we needed them badly. Within a month both had bought plane tickets and were with us placing prayer oil on our heads and rebuking the spirit of divorce out of our minds and home. I’m very thankful that I believe in God and believe in the miracles he is capable of because we are a living testimony.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with counseling. I’m a big believer in pre-marital counseling and counseling during your marriage. Even if it’s just your mother mediating between you two. First off your veteran needs therapy. After being deployed so many times, they need someone to talk you. Whether it be a counselor, family, or friend, make sure he is letting all of that out. Keeping all those wartime feelings inside is destructive for any healthy relationship. My love was lucky enough to have veteran parents and a therapist he could talk to. Encourage your spouse to talk to someone. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a very real thing. If left untreated it can be dangerous and destructive to your marriage.
With Goals & Dreams
My hubby and I are dreamers. We are making goals together and setting things in place to make ish happen. Having a combined dream is the best way to let your veteran know his thoughts and input are important in your relationship. It’s not just about working and making lots of money. My hubby and I talk about places we want to travel together. We discuss things we want to purchase, and things we plan on doing for our kids. When we talk about our future, it puts a fire under him to succeed which is something I found my military man needs. He craves motivation so he can complete the job.
I’m so proud of my veteran hubby for all the sacrifices, strength, and dignity he embodies daily. I would never want to take his military experience for granted, it has helped shape him into the phenomenal man he is today. Thank you to all the veterans for your loyalty and your service to this country. When you love a veteran man, you find the epitome of what a real man is!